Falling Again

Oh look!
I’m falling again
into the deepening well of myself.

I do not believe in god
but I still have good-luck charms.
I do not believe in joy
but I still get out of bed.
In other words I’m operating on inertia
more than I am on any instinct to be alive.

I have one foot in the world
another in an intermediary void.

I am some kind of creature out of an alien desert.
I am not kind.
I am good at pretending.

If I could I would unscrew my skull
and eat the brain that has betrayed me.